6/21/2013

Co phai do la tat ca ma con nguoi co the doi xu voi nhau, con te hon la thu vat, khi da lam ton thuong nhau? Chinh kien cua em o dau? Hay em dang co li tri va de cai li tri gia tao ay dieu khien con nguoi em? Va chinh em cung da ve ra nhung vien tuong that dep ve cai tinh yeu mang day su doi tra em dang xay dap nen. Em co the doc het suc ra de yeu mot nguoi co bao gio vi em ma vat len vat xuong, dau long nhu bi tram mui kiem cam vao tim khi em quyet dinh chon mot nguoi khac? Hay dam lieu mang hy sinh ca tuong lai phia truoc de duoc o ben canh em? Va co dam lieu mang de co dua con mang trong minh giot mau cua em? Khong bao gio em hieu duoc su dien cuong do, xuat phat tu dau...

Em tung noi chac toi chua bao gio yeu that long em hieu toi duoc bao nhieu phan ma em noi nhu the? Co nhung dem toi khong the tho duoc vi nghi ve em, toi lai nghen hong va phat ro len khi thay em hoan toan thuoc ve nguoi khac, de lai mot minh toi nhu mot thu do dung roi. Long toi dau that va da day toi quan lai, toi bi suy nhuoc than kinh. Doi luc cuoc song that kho khan doi hoi con nguoi ta phai manh me de vuot qua. Toi tu hoi toi co can vuot qua ko hay ket thuc no? Vi toi da qua suy nhuoc roi, toi ko the chong do duoc nua. Toi met moi. Toi can nghi ngoi, noi ma toi ko phai tiep tuc co gang hay suy nghi, va trai tim ko can dap.

1/06/2013

Mirror mirror on the wall... ummmm, what is next?

Finally, I'm about to go to NYC in less than 2 weeks. Everything is almost done. One last step is to apply for the visa. I have to go to Hanoi today, heard it was terribly cold there! So, just on time to put on some winter clothes I (accidentally) bought in Singapore. Speaking of Singapore, I miss my pals there badly. Hopefully I can manage to afford one more trip to Sing before going NYC. Eventually, my life is not too bad. I've learnt how to be patient, with myself and people surround me.



Now I need to be cheered up, so I won't talk more about those cherish memories at all. Yesterday I bought a box of new cigarettes, named Richmond. It's quite cute with its color pink and cherry smell... yum... At least I can get rid of those boring cig from Sing such as Dunhill or Marlboro, no more Ice blast, no more Menthol! Wish I could share it with my housemate in Sing! Nah.... I talk about Sing again :(. Maybe I left (a lot) part of my heart there. When I come back to my hometown, I don't feel like come back home, I don't feel like being here or there, I don't feel anything at all. It's such a terrible experience.


Once I thought I was pregnant, yes I did think of it, and I wish I was. Unfortunately, nope. There might be some superstitious powers that prevent me from being pregnant, well, and ruining my whole life forward. Anyhow, thanks a lot, but if I really was, I could never love the child more than I ever do, because it was born the bottom of my heart. Uhmmmm, I will save it for later.

So, yeah, briefly sums up how my life was in these days. I hope the next post will be published in NYC, under the NYC sky and via NYC internet system (!).