Co phai do la tat ca ma con nguoi co the doi xu voi nhau, con te hon la thu vat, khi da lam ton thuong nhau? Chinh kien cua em o dau? Hay em dang co li tri va de cai li tri gia tao ay dieu khien con nguoi em? Va chinh em cung da ve ra nhung vien tuong that dep ve cai tinh yeu mang day su doi tra em dang xay dap nen. Em co the doc het suc ra de yeu mot nguoi co bao gio vi em ma vat len vat xuong, dau long nhu bi tram mui kiem cam vao tim khi em quyet dinh chon mot nguoi khac? Hay dam lieu mang hy sinh ca tuong lai phia truoc de duoc o ben canh em? Va co dam lieu mang de co dua con mang trong minh giot mau cua em? Khong bao gio em hieu duoc su dien cuong do, xuat phat tu dau...

Em tung noi chac toi chua bao gio yeu that long em hieu toi duoc bao nhieu phan ma em noi nhu the? Co nhung dem toi khong the tho duoc vi nghi ve em, toi lai nghen hong va phat ro len khi thay em hoan toan thuoc ve nguoi khac, de lai mot minh toi nhu mot thu do dung roi. Long toi dau that va da day toi quan lai, toi bi suy nhuoc than kinh. Doi luc cuoc song that kho khan doi hoi con nguoi ta phai manh me de vuot qua. Toi tu hoi toi co can vuot qua ko hay ket thuc no? Vi toi da qua suy nhuoc roi, toi ko the chong do duoc nua. Toi met moi. Toi can nghi ngoi, noi ma toi ko phai tiep tuc co gang hay suy nghi, va trai tim ko can dap.

Mirror mirror on the wall... ummmm, what is next?

Finally, I'm about to go to NYC in less than 2 weeks. Everything is almost done. One last step is to apply for the visa. I have to go to Hanoi today, heard it was terribly cold there! So, just on time to put on some winter clothes I (accidentally) bought in Singapore. Speaking of Singapore, I miss my pals there badly. Hopefully I can manage to afford one more trip to Sing before going NYC. Eventually, my life is not too bad. I've learnt how to be patient, with myself and people surround me.

Now I need to be cheered up, so I won't talk more about those cherish memories at all. Yesterday I bought a box of new cigarettes, named Richmond. It's quite cute with its color pink and cherry smell... yum... At least I can get rid of those boring cig from Sing such as Dunhill or Marlboro, no more Ice blast, no more Menthol! Wish I could share it with my housemate in Sing! Nah.... I talk about Sing again :(. Maybe I left (a lot) part of my heart there. When I come back to my hometown, I don't feel like come back home, I don't feel like being here or there, I don't feel anything at all. It's such a terrible experience.

Once I thought I was pregnant, yes I did think of it, and I wish I was. Unfortunately, nope. There might be some superstitious powers that prevent me from being pregnant, well, and ruining my whole life forward. Anyhow, thanks a lot, but if I really was, I could never love the child more than I ever do, because it was born the bottom of my heart. Uhmmmm, I will save it for later.

So, yeah, briefly sums up how my life was in these days. I hope the next post will be published in NYC, under the NYC sky and via NYC internet system (!). 

I was asked to write a biography of myself for Barcode magazine in Saigon. I was excited at first, now I’m terrified. They pick out the most prominent personality for every month’s issue. And they pick me for their upcoming issue in Spring. I find myself no interesting in the uproar art scene of neither Saigon nor Singapore. I’ve just dropped out of the school. I work illegal here for money. I have not paid the deposit for a place in this Spring’s class at FIT. I’ve lost my ambition in studying fashion. I’ve been chasing an invisible goal in my life. I’m totally bland right now. What should I write? 

Rediscovery

Last Sunday night, while I was rushing on my assignment, I found some good old stuff on youtube. The making of "L'amante", a french movie based on Marguerites Duras's story. Most of the scenes were done in Saigon, Vietnam. I remember it when the girl walks on the street that I used to ride around when I was in Saigon, in front of the Le Quy Don high school, the oldest school there. It's used to called Collège Chasseloup-Laubat.

College Chasseloup-Laubat (unknown year)

My primary school was Lasan Teberd, the second old. It was originally taught in French, until 1975. The other old french school in Hanoi was Albert Sarrault, my grandpa's school.

Lasan Taberd

Quite interesting. That provokes a lot of memories in me. Since I was a toddler, my grandpa always speaks french to me, even I would never fully understand, I always have it close to my heart.

The making of "L'amante"

The director ( Jean Jacques Annaud) has to go to Vietnam to brush up on the history. He luckily met an old man, whose friend was the real "lover" in the novel. I've never had a chance to find the house in the movie, it's located around the district 5- the Chinese town. I hope it's still there.

And then in this morning, obviously I didn't finish the assignment (what a hectic life!), and it's raining outside, the procrastination goes on. Once again I go to youtube. The image of Jane Birkin's sibling was popped up and properly my morning is fully done!

Lou Doillon for Vanessa Bruno, an old commercial for S/S 2010. I was terribly surprise when I realized the one who posted it was my friend's lover, Hoan Bee. I heard that she quite famous there (?)

Charlotte Gainsbourg and one of my favorite of her!

Too much french for today! I'm stuffed now. Back to my assignment, unless I will have to make another excuse for tomorrow :/ ! 

Fake Halloween

I've just come back from a Halloween event (fake) in Clarke Quay. Every body dressed up well. I myself don't feel like dressing up today so I just left myself as usual and walked out with my friends. Let check out some that I collected on the way there.

Chinese vampires! There must be three, not two! 

Break into the bride's chair, there was a ghost bride!

Wolfman attack!

I don't know who (what) she is ... literally...

Another Chinese vampire! 

My friend Quynh and her sister Duy, and a strange creature from Clarke Quay...

End of the day. Tomorrow I have to finish all the assignment due to Monday, thanks to my stubbornness, 2 weeks off and all the assignment comes in once! It's already 2:20 in the morning, enjoy the night!

i-D i-D i-D i-D i-D

Have to admit I'm not a big fan of fashion. I've seen people who are so obsessed with the glamorous- not fashion itself, and flaunt it up in a flattering way. Adore, stunning, fantastic, beautiful, ... those terms are seen everywhere, wherever a fashion-related thing is showed up. I wonder do people have any other word to say whenever they talk about fashion, unless they're lack of vocabulary. To me, those terms are too queasy to say.

I'd love to check out the digital magazine on facebook, they upload a lot of tremendous things such as their old issues, vintage photos from years ago, free music playlist every month, design contest, street style, etc. Such a smart way to communicate with the audience. I've been a big reader of Dazed and Confused, recently I find out their rival i-D is quite interested, too. I like the way they support the young designer and individual artist by digging a lot into the youth culture and blend it with contemporary art. This is almost opposite to the mainstream fashion magazine, not giving me a doubt about my existence.
Plus, i-D categorize themselves as "society/culture" on facebook, so appropriate!

Walter Pfeiffer's scrapbooks: 1969-1985

The Performance issue 1995

New collection

Apparently I'm working on my new collection, which is inspired by gothic subculture a lot. This time I concentrate on print and pattern, quite interesting. I always want to be print designer, always intrigued by collections with print dominated. Seems like these day designer all tends to play with the shape more than color, for instance in my country, they can't ever manage to have a good color combination in one collection, which I assume they don't find it fashionable to colorist their bland idea. Bleh, it would take ages to talk about them, so just pass it!

My new logo. My mind has gone through a field of serenity to come to this. Or I just would had gone with the Tentris's dog idea :-/ !

In my humble opinion, every designer, who is not classify themselves in any specific major, has the ability to create in every major. Some fashion designer goes with photography, such as Hedi Slimane. Some goes with game designing, this one is new.

Grimes by Hedi SLimane. Dazed and Confused issue April 2012. These nose rings are Givenchy's haute couture S/S 2012 collection. One of my classmates bought a pair of them and showed up in the class the other day. Apparently I don't feel any special about him buying those extraordinary nose rings, I just find it not fit him well. Imaging a geek in that pair of nose rings, then you get it.

I was a big fan of Steven Meisel when I was in high school. But recently I think I lost the passion to his photos, because of repeated concept and unambitious work ethic. Remember when Cristobal Balenciaga said when he was talked into the trade of pret-a-porter," I don't want to prostitute my talent". Yet it was sinister to say, his ethic was real. The artistic ethic shouldn't be killed by world crisis and recession.

Meisel's latest work that quite interesting.


Vogue Italia issue July 2012
Collections
Photographer: Steven Meisel
Stylist: Karl Templer
Models: Vanessa Axente, Mackenzie Drazan, Julia Nobis, Elena Bartels, Lida Fox, Erjona Ala, Hedwig Palm, Ophelie Rupp, Ros Georgiou & Lula Österdahl
Make-Up: Pat McGrath
Hair: Guido Palau
Set Designer: Mary Howard