I was asked to write a biography of myself for Barcode magazine in Saigon. I was excited at first, now I’m terrified. They pick out the most prominent personality for every month’s issue. And they pick me for their upcoming issue in Spring. I find myself no interesting in the uproar art scene of neither Saigon nor Singapore. I’ve just dropped out of the school. I work illegal here for money. I have not paid the deposit for a place in this Spring’s class at FIT. I’ve lost my ambition in studying fashion. I’ve been chasing an invisible goal in my life. I’m totally bland right now. What should I write? 

Rediscovery

Last Sunday night, while I was rushing on my assignment, I found some good old stuff on youtube. The making of "L'amante", a french movie based on Marguerites Duras's story. Most of the scenes were done in Saigon, Vietnam. I remember it when the girl walks on the street that I used to ride around when I was in Saigon, in front of the Le Quy Don high school, the oldest school there. It's used to called Collège Chasseloup-Laubat.

College Chasseloup-Laubat (unknown year)

My primary school was Lasan Teberd, the second old. It was originally taught in French, until 1975. The other old french school in Hanoi was Albert Sarrault, my grandpa's school.

Lasan Taberd

Quite interesting. That provokes a lot of memories in me. Since I was a toddler, my grandpa always speaks french to me, even I would never fully understand, I always have it close to my heart.

The making of "L'amante"

The director ( Jean Jacques Annaud) has to go to Vietnam to brush up on the history. He luckily met an old man, whose friend was the real "lover" in the novel. I've never had a chance to find the house in the movie, it's located around the district 5- the Chinese town. I hope it's still there.

And then in this morning, obviously I didn't finish the assignment (what a hectic life!), and it's raining outside, the procrastination goes on. Once again I go to youtube. The image of Jane Birkin's sibling was popped up and properly my morning is fully done!

Lou Doillon for Vanessa Bruno, an old commercial for S/S 2010. I was terribly surprise when I realized the one who posted it was my friend's lover, Hoan Bee. I heard that she quite famous there (?)

Charlotte Gainsbourg and one of my favorite of her!

Too much french for today! I'm stuffed now. Back to my assignment, unless I will have to make another excuse for tomorrow :/ ! 

Fake Halloween

I've just come back from a Halloween event (fake) in Clarke Quay. Every body dressed up well. I myself don't feel like dressing up today so I just left myself as usual and walked out with my friends. Let check out some that I collected on the way there.

Chinese vampires! There must be three, not two! 

Break into the bride's chair, there was a ghost bride!

Wolfman attack!

I don't know who (what) she is ... literally...

Another Chinese vampire! 

My friend Quynh and her sister Duy, and a strange creature from Clarke Quay...

End of the day. Tomorrow I have to finish all the assignment due to Monday, thanks to my stubbornness, 2 weeks off and all the assignment comes in once! It's already 2:20 in the morning, enjoy the night!

i-D i-D i-D i-D i-D

Have to admit I'm not a big fan of fashion. I've seen people who are so obsessed with the glamorous- not fashion itself, and flaunt it up in a flattering way. Adore, stunning, fantastic, beautiful, ... those terms are seen everywhere, wherever a fashion-related thing is showed up. I wonder do people have any other word to say whenever they talk about fashion, unless they're lack of vocabulary. To me, those terms are too queasy to say.

I'd love to check out the digital magazine on facebook, they upload a lot of tremendous things such as their old issues, vintage photos from years ago, free music playlist every month, design contest, street style, etc. Such a smart way to communicate with the audience. I've been a big reader of Dazed and Confused, recently I find out their rival i-D is quite interested, too. I like the way they support the young designer and individual artist by digging a lot into the youth culture and blend it with contemporary art. This is almost opposite to the mainstream fashion magazine, not giving me a doubt about my existence.
Plus, i-D categorize themselves as "society/culture" on facebook, so appropriate!

Walter Pfeiffer's scrapbooks: 1969-1985

The Performance issue 1995

New collection

Apparently I'm working on my new collection, which is inspired by gothic subculture a lot. This time I concentrate on print and pattern, quite interesting. I always want to be print designer, always intrigued by collections with print dominated. Seems like these day designer all tends to play with the shape more than color, for instance in my country, they can't ever manage to have a good color combination in one collection, which I assume they don't find it fashionable to colorist their bland idea. Bleh, it would take ages to talk about them, so just pass it!

My new logo. My mind has gone through a field of serenity to come to this. Or I just would had gone with the Tentris's dog idea :-/ !

In my humble opinion, every designer, who is not classify themselves in any specific major, has the ability to create in every major. Some fashion designer goes with photography, such as Hedi Slimane. Some goes with game designing, this one is new.

Grimes by Hedi SLimane. Dazed and Confused issue April 2012. These nose rings are Givenchy's haute couture S/S 2012 collection. One of my classmates bought a pair of them and showed up in the class the other day. Apparently I don't feel any special about him buying those extraordinary nose rings, I just find it not fit him well. Imaging a geek in that pair of nose rings, then you get it.

I was a big fan of Steven Meisel when I was in high school. But recently I think I lost the passion to his photos, because of repeated concept and unambitious work ethic. Remember when Cristobal Balenciaga said when he was talked into the trade of pret-a-porter," I don't want to prostitute my talent". Yet it was sinister to say, his ethic was real. The artistic ethic shouldn't be killed by world crisis and recession.

Meisel's latest work that quite interesting.


Vogue Italia issue July 2012
Collections
Photographer: Steven Meisel
Stylist: Karl Templer
Models: Vanessa Axente, Mackenzie Drazan, Julia Nobis, Elena Bartels, Lida Fox, Erjona Ala, Hedwig Palm, Ophelie Rupp, Ros Georgiou & Lula Österdahl
Make-Up: Pat McGrath
Hair: Guido Palau
Set Designer: Mary Howard

Behind the front

The only reason makes me still staying up here is the Black Eyed peas's 1998 album "Behind the front". Good stuff, tho. Their old tune is quite profound and much relevant than today. Is it me or Fergie the massive mistake that they have ever made in their career? Believe it or not, I would have been a big fan of BEP if they had retained their music like this to now. Will.I.Am is such a genius. I really adore his talent, since I know he wrote the song "Ordinary people" (I'm such an obsolete girl alive in this planet hehe).

This tune is outrageous.

Arhhhh, I'm too tired now, after many matches of pool. Such experts as my housemate, they could pull me over easily, don't even sweat once. Well, my arms and legs are hardcore sore now. DYING. 

Monday morning ... FAIL!

Monday morning… What ???  Haven’t received any bollocks money from my shite face school.  So stay at home, no choice. I've been ripped off since last month, can not ask any one more for a loan :/! 

Actually it’s been noon already, and I’ve been watching Never mind the Buzzcocks (since MORNING, for God sake!), series 24 episode 3, the one with the Jedward twin. Never heard of them before. A pair of annoying evil girl-like twin giving me a real panic attack! I have a habit drinking coffee in the morning, lots of energy, indeed. Yet my other habit is trying to blend every thing in one and pretending "I am inventing new stuff!!!". Too bad, I’ve never invented any successful stuff in my life. Mixing strawberry jam, condense milk and powder coffee in a pot of boiled water is the worst idea of the day! It is horrible! As well as watching the Jedward in Never mind the buzzcocks! 

That aside, staying home has its own pleasure. Not getting pissed by another is the most insightful feeling. For example, calling me every second in their life to ask what they should do (???) I'm not a trash bin for every one to spit on, so back off! 

 Anyway, have a nice week everybody, listen to some David Bowie, some more David Bowie, some MORE Bowie, you will be blessed! 

Little Miss Sunshine vs Ursula in da class

I'm working on my assignments, for the sake of my entire life in here. I study with an alter-ego of sinister character that, in reference to Jafar in Aladdin or Ursula of Little Mermaid, scare the hell out of me. Never in my life have I ever meet a real villain, until now. Hapless me, he put me in the group of the most inept human beings, and to save my arse from the threat of being failed-by-not-my-false, I'd manage to work rather all but lonely. Human loafing and the Raise of Chinese (most of them are Chinese)!

Khanh just came back from her visit to me. The most precious days has just gone away. We were hanging out a lot, I threw my paper away and enjoyed life. She's the only best friend of mine and perhaps ever. The point is only she can understand my joke and sarcasm, share the same taste of music and movie as well. And I'm some kind of arrogant. I'm a bit sniffy at somebody else that I found not the same rank with me. But people keep coming and harass me all the time. Some precocious, pretentious gal and boy, if not their saying, their behavior. Sometime I just want to talk to their face what I am thinking, but it would be rude to say, not to mention it would be hurt somehow.

Had my tattoo redone at Skin Label studio, nice and clean!

Me and Miss Shovel!

I found out I didn't lose my taste, at least in tasting beer, and I only get it when I go with the right person. I'm so happy my body understand me so much! Which means I should stop hanging out and losing my precious time to worthless people, and saving money for the sake of the entire month.

The importance of a jacket

Even living in a tropical zone, which means wearing a jacket or coat is nonsense, I still fancy lots of them. Honestly I'm not a fan of leopard/cheetah print, looks too much on me ( I'm a simple Goth-look girl with a free spirit mind). A fur coat is quite a luxury one, but what's the problem if there's a to-die-for fake fur, right in your budget, and stands in front of you? I would have seize it right away.

You can wear a simple outfit if you have a nice jacket. No need to stiffen up your wardrobe! I don't have much clothes but shoes and jackets. That's why I'm broke now ( hell no!!!)

I'm having my coffee with a bowl of vegetable and eggs now. So healthy! Food in Singapore has too much oil that ruining my skin badly, which is the worst thing I would expect to live here. Scary! I don't usually smoke but every time I smoke it must be up to 3! I really am not enjoy popping zit at all, recently it becomes my hobby (?!?). Moreover, I have to avoid flipping money out of the credit card, which is painful! It feels like when you're lack of drug, and you need a crack, DEAD or ALIVE!

That's what I have to deal right now, wanting a coat and being ripped off by super high living cost! I'm not going to die or commit suicide anyway, maybe later ??? Next Tuesday I'm gonna go to Garbage's gig here, that's a plus; even they're a bunch of oldies, it's a minus; but at least I have a chance to see them before they're going to hell, and I have a class until 18:00, BIG minus, I will make it on time by walking from school to Fort Canning, hopefully!

Me and Quynh in front of Clarke Quay riverside. Sorry I'm a mushroom!

Talk no more, look at Shirley Manson's fur coat, isn't it fascinating? Swear to myself I will have one when I go to New York! Uhm, New York, you haven't send me the Spring package yet, that makes me eager in my soul, yeah I can sleep at night but c'mon, even I was accepted but I still need some official papers to sober  ={ ={ ={

Ah yeah, another fancied coat!

Living in Singapore!

I was on the way back home on the bus today, and some ideas just came up and bursted inside my head, which push me to write it down immediately. What is it, I won't tell! It will be locked in secret until I done my thinking!
So right now, I'm living in Singapore, which is a super tiny country rests in the South East of Asia, you can look it up on Google map, but remember to zoom it up, or else you'll never find!
It takes around 40 minutes to go from my place to da school! Luckily today I didn't fall asleep on bus, so I can take a lot pictures on the way. Mostly through the bus's window. It's quite safety in here,  I can leave home in happy without locking a bunch of locks and come home late at 2a.m with people still around on street and enjoy their walk. But I haven't got used to the sun, still shine at 19:00 ~~ I got some allergies, too. Perhaps my skin is too sensitive, it's itchy as hell these days, must be the water, I assume.

Btw I have to mention about this one. One of my favorite TV show at the time is Nevermind the Buzzcock, obviously I don't have a TV here, so I watch it on youtube. I love how they make funs of other artists and themselves, I feel so happy! Noel Fielding and Phil Jupitus are the captains in show, they are SO funny! I also really look up to Noel's sense of fashion, I must believe he's been rocking his "leading Goth comedian" look since birth. And his surreal painting, too. Too much to say about him, so I end up buying his book, a collection of his paint, or his drafting book in order to be honest =]].

Every thing looks like a toy in my eyes! 

I, I close my door at night. But they get in alright. And he turns on the light.
....
I do it if I could, I hope you know I would. 

Untitled 1

Once upon a time ...
There lived a girl who has a fragile heart that carry it all over world. She left her motherland to pursue a nowhere aim which is as livid as a sudden star far far away. She listens to the rhythm deep down in her heart and sings a floating melody.
But she doesn't know how to pour it out. On every place she steps, there's a signal that given to her, and she lost it right away when it's almost reached by her. Then she left a fragment of her heart to every doorman of the place she was, before getting lost again.
She runs away from herself. 

This Year song

They were 3 years ahead when they released this song. I don't know if there was any relation to the movie named 2012, I have never watched it even it was one of the commercial bombard movie in that year. Anw, this song is belonged to the The Gossip's album in 2009, which has a so-so sound and quality and forget-able rhythm, except for this song. Maybe Beth Ditto is now considered as one of the era Fashion icon. To me, she's a fine lady, that's all. But the latest editorial I've seen of her on some magazine (don't remember) posed with a buff slimy blondie guy, that makes me nausea. Thanks for the fashion industry, they bring up all the weirdest things altogether, included those creations named Lady Gaga and Nicki MiNaj. Weird is a trend now. That is so sell-out! Being weird is way much too sell-out! And fashion supports it. Fashion is sell-out, too.
Geez, World is turning up-side down. I hope my CD shelves won't fall off the ground.

Untitled Thursday

I've been living outlaw for so long,
Six months have gone and left it so wrong
My ego is urging constantly, yet another rhythm beats that strong
Oh Righty righty right, suddenly give me a shiver when I think of night,
afraid of being released and trigger my own fire.
Will be there a flame that I ashamed
can't be tamed as a wild youth
and drink my own damn fear down the throat
You would never have chance to see the flow.
Oh Welly welly well, if I ever care of tomorrow
dressing like an old dying witch, looking up the sky with my slimy eyes
livid tone it's giving me, nails to me, scratch me, drown me

The picture of James Iha is just perfectly match to the mood of my random writing right now. Actually I've been digging the mood that unintentionally been showed on his face. Actually I don't intend to write anything but leave some words to live up my blog. Nevermind! 

Cry baby cry

I really miss you, really really, my blogspot!

I spent most of the time today pouring out. I was so touching. I can't stop thinking of the book The Thorn birds, with their lively characters as they were real, and then I watched its mini series they made in 1983. I found happiness in watching movie, drawing and reading. I'm escaping from the real world, literally.

These days are like war time. Students are showing their voices, making lots of conferences and questioning the school, due to the breakout which has stir up all the press and media since the first week of 2012. No one has their mind in studying, the general topics when I step into the class is "When will we receive the school's official answer","Should we stay or should we go" (Sorry, the song of Clash is so right rite now), "Will we receive our money", ... The only reason that push me up to classes is the new teacher is so helpful and never talk about the event. So, I decide to have one more class this term. Besides school time, I'll be home with full of work to do. Anything can keep me busy!

I also discovered my comfort zone in the headphone. Firstly, I can hear the sound which is disappear when using laptop speaker. Secondly, besides music, I can't hear nothing. That's an advantage. At least I can focus more.