Live and Let die

Was Kurt Cobain right when he chose death beyond his famous career?

What will we be, when we're old... Getting wrinkles on your eyes and frilly full of your face, isn't matter if there would be a friend besides. Your memory will go with the flow, your ear will be deaf, your teeth will no longer work. And what if your children are fighting over your heritage, would you relief to put your back on the bed and have a good night? Crying is for the young. You can't even cry, yet was dead inside. You sit next to the window and think over on your life. What should you do? People are coming and leaving day in and day out.

I remember once Luu Quang Vu wrote for a drama: It would be hurt to stay long, like a guest rambling in a house with people come in and out...

I want to believe in the other world. Where old people still living and watch over their children somewhere over the sky high.

I myself feel guilty to sit here and write these words. My grandpa used to say he would live until all of us getting married, and giving birth, ... I just want you to live with us, as long as you want to, grandpa. I cannot do anything to you, due to the distance I am now. What will grandma be if you leave? Please, stay. You are my grandpa. I wish you would be better soon.

CONTROL

A busy week, it is! The first half of this week I was chased by a BIG FAT LADY boy ordering me a Lady Gaga's jacket. I worked my ass off in 3 sleepless days just to be in time for this weird guy. He paid me 1 million dong. The rest of the week I helped Janet to finish his menswear collection. Phew.... Now I feel really relief! A true weekend. Enjoy the new Air conditioner!

The Back to the Motherland

I decided to visit my grandparents in Ha Noi 2 months ago, when I heard my grandpa had fell off the staircase and need a therapy. The ticket was booked, I took off right at the time the holiday happens. So I have 4 days off from school, and stuffs, too.

This is the place where I feel awkward riding on the street as well as relief standing still on the street. Most of the time I was here, I afraid of riding motorbike. Know why? Because there is no rule. People are wild. Traffic light? Forget it. Helmet? What are you talking about. They can even carry a purse on their shoulder while riding bike, and either talking on the phone. Such a BOLD. I have to use a map, in order not to get lost. This is a HUGE difference in direction here to SAIGON. Everything is reversed. I thought it must be right then It's left, and so on. I'm surprised there is almost no gas station ( they use tape water instead of gas ?!? ), then I'm more surprised we have to queue IN LINE to refill. The citizen here is not so friendly, I reckon. Oh well, whatsoever I have my mission to find the vendor selling BANH DUC NONG n' found it in a small alley on LE NGOC HAN street. Luckily the street selling SUA CHUA NEP CAM is next to the BANH DUC place (Fermented sticky rice with YOGURT) - MUST try them, incredibly tasty at a reasonable price.

( I didn't say I'd turned around those streets many time 'til i found the place, did I? )

One more thing, you can find PHO everywhere in Ha Noi, as well as BANH CUON NONG, yet there's only a few places worth trying.

I met my friend To here. He came to play in a rockshow by Hanoi Rock city with his badass fellows AKAT.Unfortunately, his toe was injured ( it was bruised ) by a cabinet, that made everyone really nervous the first day. Luckily, it's getting better the next day, he did a great job in the show, God bless To ( or toe)! He will take off tonight, then I'll meet him in Saigon later.

Speaking about my visit, It was good. Nice weather accompanied by nice conditions and nice relatives, everything is terrific. My grandpa is really skinny now. I must see him many time sitting among the coach and pondering. He cannot hear me anymore, I tried to talk louder, sometime it works ;)! Good thing is his sanity still intact! Today is his birthday with full of laugh and talk. Everybody almost here to celebrate, and he's really happy. I took a lot of fotos by my old film camera, not sure that it works probably, :P. As Grandpa's order, we have CRABS, BUN CHA, champagne and birthday's cake. Quite simple!

I'll up the fotos later, because, it hasn't been developed yet.

See ya!

It's a future that we never had but TRUE

I'm not the same as you

That's always been the problem

It's a problem that we hide away but true

Something UNSAID

That hangs between the future

It's a future that we never had but true

I remember stars above her

Scattered through this sky just for her

And how very much I loved her

Beautiful Alone

Everything and always to me

Everything and always was she

Beautiful Alone

Some people say to you -

They want to be your lover

They want to turn you into something else not you

Same people wait

They're saving up their hatred

Just for twisting knives into the back of you

I remember stars above her

Scattered through this sky just for her

And how very much I loved her

Beautiful Alone

Everything and always to me

Everything and all the thing to me

Beautiful Alone

Michael Collings

( Cannot embed his turn in the audition round, it's disable by te confounded YOUTUBE)

I've just flipped my finger on youtube and I found this guy! It's just a day ago, from the show Britain got talent! Well, to be honest, I REALLY jealous with this funny guy ( because he wears a huge orange sweater, so it's funny ), with his emotional innate voice. Hope he'll in the next round! I'm brushing up on my old songs, most from the 90s, my fav decade of music and movie. After 2 nights long full of party, nothing better than staying home and chillin' with my guitar, I'll save energy for tmr, well well, I'll come back to the tamarind grabs place with my little sister! Yummy !

The Sundays

Wild wild horses... Couldn't drag me away ...

I love you more than yesterday you moronic!

SICK

Last night was terrible. I cannot sleep due to my swelled tonsil, I cannot even eat ( fortunately I still can breath). It gave me a shiver, then my body turned hot immediately. I told Janet, she thought I had caught a flu, so she came right away to my house and used a traditional therapy: a silver dime covering in a boiled egg white, and both covered by a cloth. She used it to scratch my forehead, my arms, my legs and my back. After that I was forced to drink some herbal pills. And then she picked me up to a gruel vendor in district 5. Actually, we didn't aim to end up at dis5, I supported to go to Hang Xanh circle, where is famous for their white hot porridge ( I mentioned in some of my first blogs). I bet yesterday is not my day, I can't find any of them. So we moved to dis5. Long time travelled on the street in such a windy day made me feel worse. And 50,000 VND for a bowl of porridge + century eggs + pork balls made me totally ill! Even Janet paid for them. But It was too much!

I came back home and took a rest. The same symptoms happened again. I tried to sleep, it was around 11pm. I woke up at 2:51 in the morning and had a shiver again. Suddenly I remembered the time I was sent to Cho Ray hospital, in the Emergency room, was left alone on the stretcher, surrounded by a lot of serious injured patients. I couldn't faint, or unconscious, awoke in 4 hours. This time, was the same. My mom and my sister went to Hanoi, there were only dad and borther-in-law at home. Both of my family men thought I could bear with every poignant in life without complaining, so that's why I did not expect more on them. I stood up, went to the computer, tried to listen to some music, then went back to my bed. Yet music somehow too pesky. I turned it off and suffered alone, again.

I have to admit that I really am lucky to have a friend like Janet. She helps me a lot. This morning she dropped by my house to ride me to the hospital. Apparently I have a serious swelling on my tonsil, was supported by a doctor's recipe in 7 days. Hopefully next week I can do a tonsil surgery, remove it right away from my throat. I can't bear it anymore. I still can't sleep because of this confounded pungent throat. Now I feel better, but still HURT a lot!