ISOLATION

ok, I'm officially into DIET now! I was delving into lots of diet recipes before going to bed last night. I genuinely quit smoking and drinking 3 months ago. So do the gym. And now my thighs are getting bigger . What a sad story! First time in my life I realize how important leggings are, and even wearing leggings does not satisfy me. Since this term started, I've had to stay up really late ( or stay up all night) so I lost almost energy and that makes me feel like eating every time. (There was a mini fashion show last week that I had to show up in public and, unfortunately, one of my classmate took a picture of me, and, you know, I saw me looking terrible in those boots, my legs are growing fat!)

Besides, I'm going to have the most important examination in this year this Saturday. Really nervous! I afraid I will not have enough consciousness to finish it. I planned to travel to Hongkong next week but I'm too nervous that I have to cancel every thing and isolate myself from friends.

Among the things, I don't want to meet some certain people, do I. I'm fed up with staying silently watching their stories and have nothing to say but being sympathy. Well, I need a break, I really do. I have so much things to deal with in my life. I'm not angel. I don't give loves to everyone.

So....

I'll finish the series tonight. Cannot stop keeping my eyes on them! I'll watch it again in the upcoming weeks. I have to get back to my English practice tests now, one more day to the IELTS! Wish me luck, who ever you are!

Cookies no?

I realize if I'm not sure of anything I will postpone it until I get the answer. I grows old rigid and pesky. Like an old woman sitting by the window and waiting for fascinated things. People ask me to compromise, even I sometime ask myself to compromise. I cannot impose on other people's life. It would hurt them badly if I said rough. On the other hand, they would ruin my believes.

My friends, I cherish them as long as they are my friends. I should seal my mouth more often and trying sympathize.

I bought a hat

I bought a hat from SHOKO. Quite satisfy, except the things everybody made fun of me because I was like wearing it ALL THE TIME.

Well, the reason that urging me to buy a hat is my hair, looks sorta like Cecilia Mendez (image above) but in worse way. I decide to have my hair red, but not enough. These days I've been watching to the old tv series My so-called life, and It is dope! I love every character in that series, and I was tempted by Angela's hair: She dyed it red since the 1st episode. The more the series goes on, the more I deeply sympathize for her. Like when she chases the boy she loves, because of his charming look, when she argues to her parent to protect her friend, and their gang of friend was growing apart day by day, she sometime opposes to her so-called best friend ever Rayanne, ... a lot! I read lots of comment on IMDB about the series, some of them remind of the next episode that I haven't watched yet like Rayanne is gonna sleep with Jordan ( her bf or ex bf) in the episode Betrayal and there are only 19 episodes. Wish I could indulge myself in an evening with the rain outside and digest all the last episodes!

Claire Danes and Jared Leto in My so-called life. Nostalgia!

SARDONIC

Rehearsal. Late. Wait. Haste. Getting angry. Being INSULTED by an ENGLISH teacher (I don't even take an English course in RFFLES???). Being asked What right did I have to talk to him with that voice( high tone???) I'm student. I PAID, already. I'm fashion student. I respect my garments. I respect what I did. My garments are not toys for those people to entertain in the break time of that stupid show. I don't afraid of exposure. I student have my right. Even when I was in high school, I also have right to raise my voice. If they ask us to join their show, they need to respect us, at least. Even that is their show- not us- they still need to respect us. Yesterday THAT english teacher showed off his uncapaple of holding a show and being a teacher, talked to me like crap so I flushed out, eventually.

I know I'm HOT HEAD. Some english teachers mention me as a REDNECK, wow, surprise! She said like I was an arrogant invader run aggressively to their place and ready to eat them all. SUCH a FEEBLE! I don't want to make a fight, I'm telling you, I don't have time! I just want to know when will we are ALLOWED to practice on the stage because it WAS late. Those guys made it complicated to compromise ~~~

Tired.

Have just came back from school.

Coincidently I found out that it's rain season in British, too. Not really so-called rain season, might be Autumn? Wish I could be there for once in life. These days, quite hard for me. I struggle with my study. I have one shoulder sore. I feel a ton of pressure on my back. I have lack of love, lack of feeling, ... feel nothing. I'm exhausted. Suddenly I think of a song named " sometime i feel like screaming", just saying....

Leon

It's been more than months since I neglected this blog. Well, already get over everything. The man will come back to state on the third of August. My sweety baby boy is on 7th, back to England. My best friend Minh is on 10th. Coincidently everybody is leaving in August, even my little sister. I'm not sure yet but next week she's having her interview with the consulate, and as soon as possible she will join the opening ceremony in her new school in California. Time keeps going, things change. 1 week to go baby!

I've just watch Leon The professional. Nostalgia! That Natalie Portman is much better than she is at the present. I've watch Black Swan also. To be honest, she did a great job, but not as good as she did in Leon. 90s is better than any decade i've ever known =))! I'm a conservative one, I love 90s a lot, at least I can see good movie, good music, good people there. I was around 7 when I first approached "good" music. Was influenced by my sister, can u believe it? She kept playing the song What's up a million time ( as I remember) in my entire childhood. I hated it. I did not like that song. Until I went to the middle school. Oh yeah, forget about it. Sheryl Crow rocks, too!

I watched Almost Famous on Sunday. It's not really 90s right, it's 2000. Ok, the beginning of 21st century, a new decade, a new generation...etc... Who cares? I call it 90s, it's 90s. 'bout the movie, everything was great, except Kate Hudson's face, I don't like her :)). I don't know why, I used to like her. Maybe she did too much commercial stuffs?

too bad I'm sleepy now... tomorrow I'll continue talking 'bout stuffs. Yes, stuffs !

Live and Let die

Was Kurt Cobain right when he chose death beyond his famous career?

What will we be, when we're old... Getting wrinkles on your eyes and frilly full of your face, isn't matter if there would be a friend besides. Your memory will go with the flow, your ear will be deaf, your teeth will no longer work. And what if your children are fighting over your heritage, would you relief to put your back on the bed and have a good night? Crying is for the young. You can't even cry, yet was dead inside. You sit next to the window and think over on your life. What should you do? People are coming and leaving day in and day out.

I remember once Luu Quang Vu wrote for a drama: It would be hurt to stay long, like a guest rambling in a house with people come in and out...

I want to believe in the other world. Where old people still living and watch over their children somewhere over the sky high.

I myself feel guilty to sit here and write these words. My grandpa used to say he would live until all of us getting married, and giving birth, ... I just want you to live with us, as long as you want to, grandpa. I cannot do anything to you, due to the distance I am now. What will grandma be if you leave? Please, stay. You are my grandpa. I wish you would be better soon.